Honoring Patrick’s Memory
Since Patrick's passing, we have found comfort in traditions that honor him on key dates each year. His birthday and angel anniversary have become important celebration dates. In addition, we remember Patrick each winter with a Christmas tree decorating party, where friends and family hang his special ornaments on the tree. These traditions continue to evolve over time, to meet the needs of our family in our own healing process.
Patrick and his friends, 2010, his 18th Birthday
Birthday Celebrations
Patrick’s last birthday with us was his 18th. We had a cook out with his friends. Since then we have continued to invite his friends over for a cook out, and many of them come every year. The photos immediately below are from 2011, our first of Patrick’s birthdays without him. Almost all of his friends came to cook out and celebrate his life.
Emily had the idea to have a cake and decided that “We wish you were here!” was the appropriate thing to write on it.
We are blessed that Patrick’s friends continue to allow us to be a part of their lives.
Angel Day celebrations
When Patrick was a toddler we had our first Saint Patrick’s Day party. We had made a big pot of ham and cabbage and invited a few of our work friends for dinner. A tradition was born. With Patrick’s death on March 16, 2011, Saint Patrick’s Day took on new meaning. Over the years, we’ve moved from this time of year bringing immense sadness and it being a solemn occasion to trying to simply celebrate St. Patrick’s Day like we used to.
Our celebrations often include a balloon release. One year we even tried Chinese lanterns, but we learned that they are a little unpredictable to launch in the suburbs, even in an open space. We always serve corned beef, cabbage, potatoes and ham. Jerry often makes Irish brown bread and Irish soda bread and they are always a big hit.
Regardless of how we celebrate, we always take time to remember Patrick and impact that he had on each of our lives.
Patrick with Board member Maryann Billington, 1994
Patrick and Ryan, February 1, 2006, 8th grade at Mackintosh Academy, Littleton.
Mackintosh academy playground
Originally published November, 2016:
It all started in the school year 2005-2006. Patrick and Ryan were both 8th graders at Mackintosh Academy. I found a couple clips of video of the boys from February 1, 2006 that were on a camera that Patrick had taken to school that day. I cannot post the video to Wordpress with my current package, this image is a screen shot. The boys were talking about a book they were reading for class. It was a wonderful slice-of-life thing to find 5 years after Patrick passed away. Ryan died just weeks after his HS graduation, also at age 18. He had planned to be a pilot.
Ryan's mom, Nancy, has become a friend through our Healing Moms group. In fact, we had met a few times before Nancy and I realized that our boys had been at Mackintosh together that year. Patrick was there for 6-8th grade, Ryan just for 8th grade. Both boys enjoyed their time at Mackintosh and Nancy suggested that we do something to honor the boys and help the school. That was a fabulous idea, so began the project planning about a year ago.
We were intrigued by the idea of an aviation theme since Ryan wanted to be a pilot and Patrick also loved planes. We also thought it would be something that would excite the kids. We spent time looking for two-seater airplane playground equipment, but quickly found out that it was very expensive and required installation that wasn't going to work at Mack. As it turned out, they already had a rocking two-seater plane anyway.
In collaboration with the Mackintosh early elementary teachers and administration, we decided to replace the sandbox, which was just the right size but showing it's age and create bi-planes in both of the boy's names to adorn the large, plain 12 foot tall fence.
As most of you know, we are still blessed with regular visits and interaction with many of Patrick's friends. This project truly was a group effort, with all of the boys (and Emily of course) pitching in throughout the month of October as the plans turned to production. The photos below show various stages of making the planes and sandbox and installing them at the school. It was a fun and productive project. The children play with them every day. It’s also a great place to go and remember Patrick and Ryan.
More photos and a description of the project from start to finish is available as a blog post.
